“Reality is the illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.”
W.C. Fields

“I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.”
W.C. Fields

“ A woman drove me to drink and I didn't have the decency to thank her”. 
W.C. Fields

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drink behind.” 
Humphrey Bogart

“If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer it makes the beer shoot out of your nose.” 
Jack Handy

“Beauty lies in the hands of the beerholder”
Anonymous

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